I had twins for cousins, though they lasted only 2 days in this world. They were born premature - their mother slipped from the stairs, and they were born a month early. The coffins were tiny; I was shocked at how small they were. They were buried at the same cemetery where my grandfather was buried, at the family plot where my grandfather’s remains were to be transferred when my grandmother passes away.

A neighbor died from emphysema years ago. It was not a sad death, for us at least. He was mean and uncouth, thinking that his affiliation with his religion would save him. One time, the brother was to open the gate for my aunt when the neighbor’s dog treacherously bit him in the leg. I had to rush the brother to San Lazaro Hospital for anti-rabies shots.

The next day, mom went to the owner of the dog to have the expenses reimbursed. The old man exploded, shouting expletives at my mom. When I was to get out for school, he also shouted at me. Did not bother looking at him. Everything went downhill from there. When we had to open the gate, we had to bring an arnis stick.

When he died, I didn’t know what to feel. Should I be relieved? Should I be saddened? We sat down in the wake, and went to the burial. I was with my father when the body was brought to the cemetery. We were walking ahead of the hearse, as if we were angels of death delivering a lost soul somewhere. If only this was true, I know where to deliver his soul.

When my paternal grandmother celebrated her last birthday, I was not able to come. I knew then that she was suffering from a debilitating disease, limiting her movement, up to a point where she was bedridden for days. So when I saw a picture of her with all of her children, I was so shocked with what I saw. She was so thin!

Then she had to be confined for diagnosis and possible treatment.  I wasn’t able to talk to her doctors in deference to my uncles and aunts (and my father, of course), so I don’t know what’s ailing her. Asking relatives was futile - they don’t know, either. I remember the doctors wanted to do a biopsy, but her children refused.

So she remained there, bedridden, her left leg swollen for unknown reasons, nagpaltos. She got bedsores, she had a tube where osterized food can be delivered. Her blood sugar level fluctuated like crazy. One day the doctors had to inject her with insulin, on another they had to raise her blood sugar. They had to transfer the IV line when the arm became swollen.

She was so frustrated with everything. She couldn’t talk. She wanted to take off all those tubes and lines that we had to tie her arms up. Whenever we ask her if she wanted to go home, she always tried to get up, but she couldn’t.

Her children alternated in attending to her. Two people had to attend to her - she couldn’t be left alone, for she would take every opportunity to remove the lines and tubes. I got to get hospital duty one night, with her niece. It was not a nice experience. Whenever we doze off, she would move and attempt to remove the IV. Of course, we would wake up and stop her. You could really feel her frustration.

The months/days approaching Christmas was harrowing and scary. Stretches of time she was in intensive care. After she recovered, she was transferred to the regular ward. Then her situation would deteriorate, and back she was in ICU. Hours before Christmas eve was spent on the hospital. When we got home, we did not feel like celebrating, so we all went to sleep.

Several days later, she almost died. The doctors had revived her, but they told us that the next attack might be the final one. They asked if they wanted us to revive her when it comes. It was an excruciating decision.

The way they revived her made them decide. When it happened, they gave her lots of medicines, then they employed those electricity something. I think they had asked her about this, and understood. Even if she couldn’t talk, she nodded.

New Year’s Eve. My father went home, coming from the hospital. Her situation was grave. Even though the New Year was coming, we celebrated half-heartedly. We were looking for hope when we knew it was hopeless. The irony was not lost to us back then: when everyone was looking forward for the coming year, we were dreading its coming.

At 2AM, as we were about to call it a night, I got a text message from a cousin. Our grandmother was dead.

At the burial, I was puzzled. While everyone was crying, I wasn’t. Sure, there was sadness, but how come no tears were falling?

Then later on I realized why. The months that she was hospitalized served for me as times of gradual grieving. The inevitability of death had forced me to accept the fact. Seeing her suffer in the hospital bed with all of those IV lines and oxygen tanks and electronic monitors; seeing her trying to get up whenever we asked her if she wanted to go home; seeing her trying to remove all those contraptions; these things broke our hearts. Every day of her stay in the hospital was a day of questions, of sadness, of inevitable loss.

And now the specter of death faces our family once again, five years after my grandmother died. As I felt helpless back then, I feel helpless now. There are times you just cannot do anything; yet in the back of my mind I always ask the question: have I done everything I could?

My paternal aunt is suffering from end-stage renal failure. She needs to undergo a lifetime of dialysis; kidney transplant is out of the question for her. The family, with her consent, had decided to forego dialysis. She doesn’t want to ruin us financially.

Yes. We have condemned her to death. And it is a shame.

This is funny. Just look at that ridiculous… costume. And those hideous monstersmascots. And those cute kids.

Lucky de Happy
Wentz Eiji

Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Doko made dekiru ka na

Haretara ii ne kokoro hazumu genki ni ikou
Ureshii koto tanoshii koto mitsukedasu no sa

Ano yama koete ano umi koete
Tsubasa hirogete tabidatou

Dakara
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Ukkiukki kokoro ukiuuki
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Doko made dekiru ka na

Itsu demo zutto donna toki mo egao de ikou
Kurushii koto kanashii koto wasuresaru no sa

Niji no kakera wo hiroiatsumete
Yume no sekai e tobidasou!

Kyou mo
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Wakkuwakku kokoro wakuwaaku
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Doko made dekiru ka na

Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Ukkiukki kokoro ukiuuki
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Doko made dekiru ka na

Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Dokkudokki itsumo dokidooki
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Doko made dekiru ka na

(English translation)
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
How much can you do?

I hope it’s sunny; let’s let our hearts run free
We’ll find things that are fun and make us happy

Across the mountains, across the sea
Spread your wings and fly

So…
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Excited, my heart’s excited
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
How much can you do?

Let’s always smile, whenever, wherever
Just forget the hard times and the sad times

Gather up the pieces of the rainbow
And fly to a world of dreams!

Today, I’m…
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Excited, my heart’s excited
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
How much can you do?

Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Cheerful, my heart’s cheerful
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
How much can you do?

Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
Excited, I’m always excited
Lucky lucky lucky lucky kiss
Happy happy happy happy peace
How much can you do?

(Lyrics from here)

I like the Eraserheads, I’m not a big fan as Influential Fritz is, but I really like them. I mean, I have their tapes - Ultraelectromagneticpop, Circus (my favorite), Cutterpillow, Fruitcake - and I enjoyed singing them in the banyo. No, not a big fan to kill for tickets, not a big fan to shell out monies to watch a concert, but a fan still, I guess.

When the hoopla regarding the Eraserheads Reunion Concert began, I was mildly interested but not enough to say I WANNA WATCH. Even when a cigarette company began taking registrations for FREE tickets, I did not move an inch. Maybe I was lazy, or maybe I was kinda turned off by this move. When the concert was almost canceled thanks to Department of Health (which I think is in the right), I felt bad for big fans like Fritz. But when the plans were changed and the show was a go, well, it was great for big fans, even if they have to shell out monies.

Then Ely Buendia’s mother died. That for me is a very good reason to cancel the concert, yet the show must go on. For this, I must commend Mr. Buendia - a true artist believes that the show must go on, and with his decision, he has shown that he is an artist and an entertainer. (Some part of me says it’s all about the money, but there’s nothing wrong with earning your bread, right?).

Yet, I was there. How did that happen?

It was a convoluted story that does not need retelling, but suffice to say that I was there.

I had two first-moments last night:

• It was my first open-air concert ever.
• It was my first Eraserheads concert ever.

When the first countdown ended, the reaction was all cheers. And then they played. And played. And played. And oh boy. It was like a huge videoke session, with the audience singing along. And all those cellphones! And digital cameras! And straight-from-the-box bottled water and iced tea!

After the last song of the first set, Ely sat in exhaustion, which for me was understandable. Was surprised that there was intermission. Twenty minutes had passed and no Eraserheads came out. Then the three members came out, together with a lady and the promoter. The lady turned out to be Ely’s brother, who announced that Ely was rushed to the hospital. The concert was cut short.

My favorite songs were not played. I was wishing for Wishing Wells (they played Fruitcake, so there’s a slim chance it would be played). I thought Minsan would be the most apt finale. But it was not meant to be.

—

The Eraserheads defined a generation. Witness the thousands of people who saw them play for probably the last time. This was the generation that grew up in the dark due to those interminable power outages. This was the generation that began exploring their world. This was the generation that was seeking answers to their questions. This was the Eraserheads generation.

The Eraserheads heralded the explosion of the bands into the mainstream of pop. They spearheaded the invasion of the bands into the popular consciouness. Sure, there were better bands, but the Eraserheads captured the people’s attention.

Hence, the Eraserheads’ place in history is fixed.

—

My Plurk during the concert: Countdown to start of eheads reunion concert begins. 7:54

You may also want to read other accounts of the concert:

• A Bugged Life: Eraserheads Reunion Opens with Alapaap
• An Apple a Day: Eraserheads Reunion Concert
• Azrael’s Merryland Blog: Eraserheads reunion concert 2008 - Updating Via SMS and Plurk
• Fritzified.com: In Closing, Thank You Eraserheads for the GREAT Time! (with Video)
• Rockersworld.com: Eraserheads Reunion Concert: 08.30.2008
• thought bubbles: Concert of a Lifetime

UPDATE: Here is a video of the countdown and the first song, Alapaap. Taken using Sony Ericsson P1i.

Toki Wo Koete-Fantastic World
WaT

Ima o ikiru koto ga
Mirai tsukuru no nara
Asu ni kakeru hashi ni narou
Woh woh woh

Asa no hi ni somaru machi
Hajimari o utau kimi
Kizamareru toki no naka
Kimochi wa kasanariau

Nagare yuku hito no nami
Sono naka de bokutachi ga
Meguri au kakuritsu ni
Omoi o hasete mita

Sure chigau hito sorezore ni
Taisetsu ni omou hito ga ite
Boku mo mata (boku mo mata) Kimi to iu(kimi to iu)
Kizuna ni deaetan da

Itsuka tadori tsukeru
Haruka tooi risou e
Kimi to tsunaida te wa hanasainai yo
Hashire! Toki o koete
Egao afureruhodo
Sekaijuu ga kagiyakidasu
Woh woh woh

Sugite yuku nichijo wa
Nareru ma mou nai kurai
Itsudatte ichido kiri
Yarinaoshi wa dekinai kara

Guuzen mo hitsuzen mo
Koeta you na meguri ai
Kimi wa mou kizuite iru
Sono toki ga ima nan da

Kokoro kara wakariau nante
Deki wa shinai to shitte iru kedo
Sou negau (sou negau) Boku ga ite (boku ga ite)
Kimochi wa tomerarenai

Ichiban daiji na mono
Sore ni kizuita toki
Kimi ga ima made yori mo chikaku natte
Hashire! Toki o koete
Egao afureruhodo
Sekaijuu ga kagiyakidasu
Woh woh woh

Itsumo wasurenai de
Itsumo tayasanai de
Kimi no egao ga sekai gaeru kara

Itsuka tadori tsukeru
Haruka tooi risou e
Kimi to tsunaida te wa hanasainai yo
Hashire! Toki o koete
Egao afureruhodo
Sekaijuu ga kagiyakidasu
Woh woh woh

English translation of Toki Wo Koete-Fantastic World by ndhaa

If being alive now
Creates the future
Then I’ll form a bridge to tomorrow
Woh woh woh

The morning sun colors the city
You sing praise for the day’s beginning
As time ticks away
Our emotions are as one

The crowd keeps moving on
Within it we try
To turn our thoughts
To the probability of meeting each other

Every person that passes by
Has someone dear to them
And I too have found
The bond that is you again

*Someday we’ll be able to reach
That faraway ideal
I won’t let go of your hand
Run! Last for all time
The whole world starts to shine
As if it’s overflowing with smiles
Woh woh woh

Each day passes by so quickly
We don’t have time to get used to it
We only get one chance
Because there’s no way to do it over again

Meeting you was more than coincidence
It was more than inevitable
You already know
That moment is now

I know it isn’t possible
To understand each other from the heart
But here I am, wishing for it
And my emotions can’t be stopped

When I realized
What was most important to me
You were closer than ever before
Run! Last for all time
The whole world starts to shine
As if it’s overflowing with smiles
Woh woh woh

Don’t ever forget it
Don’t ever stop it
‘Cause your smile will change the world

(Repeat*)

But. They are human beings too. They laugh, they cry, they agonize, they take a bath, they eat, they visit the crapper when needed, they breathe the same polluted air.

And to prove that political bloggers are human beings, too, just invite them to videoke. Nothing beats a microphone and a loud sound system blaring YMCA.

So that’s what Ria Jose found out last night when we went to Red Box Greenbelt 3, together with Juned, Fritz, Poyt, Billycoy, Marcelle, Arpee (who went home agad, ander kasi), Markku (with girlfriend), and Jayvee (with girlfriend). Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for me), there are no incriminating evidence. Yet. Anyway, it was a fun night, which was definitely a concert by Marcelle, with occasional assist from anyone. And for the first time, I came home super duper uber late. Lagot ako sa nanay ko.

And thankfully, by mutual consent, there are no videos. Ay, meron yata. Yari ako. Huhuhu.

So there. No wonder a noted political blogger avoids videoke like SARS. I now understand.

I had been hoping not get employed at Makati, since the cost of working here is high - the food, the travel fare, the costume, the works. So when I got a job offer here, I was consoling myself that I would be lucky enough if the company would match my salary from the previous employer. While the offer did exceed the previous one, the increase was eaten by inflation already. And the EVAT.ha

It has been a week. I think I got the hang of the travel. Mornings: take the MRT. Afternoons: take the bus. Bus is slower, but at least I get to sit, and not engage in wrestling. And smelling arm pits. Yeah, I do get bombarded by fumes, but that’s way better than smelly arm pits, IMHO. And I get to avoid entering Trinoma, which saves my wallet from impending bankruptcy.

The food is very expensive. The cheapest is fifty pesos, delivered to your building in styro. Your food choices are limited by your budget; the smaller, the limited choices you have. Good thing my mom sees the philosophy in bringing packed lunch. She’s the ultimate cheapskate, and I got that from her.

Going back to food: there’s McDonald’s, 7-11, and Mini-Stop downstairs; Starbucks several buildings away; Krispy Kreme, another McDonald’s, and another Starbucks across the street. And I have never been into any of them. Wait. I had been to McDonald’s downstairs and Starbucks several buildings away.

I don’t like smart casual. I like casual. I like going to work in shirts and pants. My morning dress up ritual is simple: just grab what’s on the cabinet. But smart casual has changed that. I should be thankful, though; unlike that rock star who always appears to be selling insurance (kidding, but you get the point).

The irony of my Makati life (so far) is that I know some bloggers who work here, but we haven’t met yet for coffee or merienda. It should be a small world, but we are separated by tall buildings and heated underpasses and US time. And also, Glorietta nor Greenbelt is my tambayan. I don’t get to tambay, since like most grunts, I join the mad rush towards home.

There’s a certain belief than when you work in Makati, you have arrived. Heaven knows what a lie it is. It is an airconditioned purgatory, where men in ties and women in heels (or vice versa) atone for their mistake of even thinking that there is glamor in Makati work.

What I like about Makati is that everywhere you go, there is a bank. Paying bills has always been a good excuse to get off the office. And Smart Tower’s just across Rufino; that’s where I had applied for Smart Bro, and that’s where I had paid my cellphone bill for last month. And The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is just a block away, so spending my GC is not a problem (how to spend it, that’s the problem).

Also, I am forced to walk. I must admit that a month of inactivity (plus eating) has led me to high blood pressure. I am glad to have my forced walk back; it is my online exercise.

Anyway, I am not sure how I will fare as a Makati boy. Indicators are not good at the moment. Seeing people go and hearing others talk about leaving, all at your first week is I think too much for my morale. But people come and go, as they say. But we’ll see.

One queen famously said “After us, the deluge.” Well, I dunno if there was a queen before the event, but indeed there was a deluge of Coke Zero. For the record, I had two cans that night, a personal record. I dunno, I find Coke Zero to be lacking in sweetness. Maybe that’s just me, since another blogger told me that he found Coke Zero to be sweeter than regular Coke.

Memorable moments:

* For the first time (finally), I get to be a volunteer for Marcelle’s magic. Either I am not a good liar, or he’s a shaman.

* Shari’s “scary moment” turned out to be an elaborate Punk’d. So says Marcelle. BTW, go read her blog post about the youth’s involvement (or non-involvement) in politics and governance.

* The Jester-in-Exile’s attempts to appear as an angel. MONUMENTAL FAIL, translating Dra. Tess‘ comments in LOLspeak. And their attempt to make me violate my own curfew. Me=fail.

* Jeff almost slumping down, due to being awake for 24 hours. Seriously, you should see it. Like this one.

* Fritz making good his promise to be whoop-ass P&S photographer. Seriously, just take a look.

* Juned’s bad-ass, it-could-kill lense. Which played well with his scary mask. Take a look at the casualties. Fritz is partly to blame for some of the casualties.

* The Manila Foodistas came in full force. Tiff was mighty proud of her figure. Jeff, Josh, and I saw no difference, really. Kidding!

* Loads of Bloggers Da Who moments, but I’ll leave that for AJ to chronicle.

Kudos to self-confessed Coke addict Aileen Apolo for a blast of an event. You can find other blog posts about the event listed in her blog.

The subject matter experts are all respected and known in their fields:

Dean Francis Alfar
If anybody can teach you about writing it’s Dean Alfar. With nine Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature under his belt - including the Grand Prize for his novel Salamanca as well as the Manila Critics’ Circle National Book Awards for the graphic novels Siglo: Freedom and Siglo: Passion and the Philippines Free Press Literary Award – Dean’s writing can express something truer than the truth which is the story.

Mike Cabardo
Explaining to someone what having an eye means is to show them the works of Mike Cabardo. This director, producer and owner of Salt Lab Creative - a motion picture and video production company specializing in creative broadcast video, film, animation and graphic design – is the visionary behind the lens of ADJECTIVE music videos Sabihin Mo by Hemp Republic, Kitchie Nadal’s Run and TL Ako Sa’yo as well as Drip’s In-Between Live.

Jay Tablante
His images will amaze you, but his passion will inspire you. Jay Tablante started out as a photographer tagging along his high school magazine’s editor with a throwaway camera, but now thanks to his tireless perseverance and unique style and inventiveness that suffuses his work, Jay quickly found himself an accomplished photographer that he fervently describes as someone who will live and die by the camera for the rest of his days.

After thirty minutes of lecture and iced tea, the bloggers were let loose in the Boni High Street expanse to put what they have learned in practice. Those who attended the short film workshop made funny videos using mobile phones and point-and-shoot cameras, and with little to no editing, the videos were funny and creative. Budding photographers were to take ten pictures using any camera - mobile phone, point-and-shoot, and DSLR. While the two groups were busy milling around for their shots, those who attended creative writing were seated and hunched at their tables, some staring at nowhere, trying to compose words and put them into writing.

At the end of frantic flash creativity sessions, the fruits of the bloggers’ flash creativity were read or viewed, and three written works, three photos, and all the videos were awarded prizes.

The host took this opportunity to invite everyone to join its What’s Your Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Story? contest. What’s your coffee bean and tea leaf story? Log onto www.whatsyourcoffeebeanandteafstory.com for more information.

Well, that’s me with my dad Armando right after my graduation from kindergarten. This was so centuries ago. Anyway, happy father’s day to all the dads in the world.

So last night I had a CSI dream. It was weird, because at one point in the dream, there was a discussion about a power interruption, and I woke up. The electric fan was dead. There was indeed a power interruption. It lasted for a few minutes only, then went back to sleep and some sex-related dreams, which propriety does not allow me to share to you, even if you are most curious about it. Sorry.

Speaking of CSI, have you noticed that among the three leaders of the CSI teams, David Caruso’s character is the non-geeky? At least Gary Sinise’s character (Mac Taylor in CSI:New York) can do geeky stuff and act macho; William Petersen’s (Gil Grissom of CSI) is too geeky (and witty, I must say) - understandable since the character is supposed to hold a PhD. But I think Caruso’s Horatio Caine cool. When a CSI:Miami episode starts, I always exclaim “Caruso!” Well, he reminds me of Fernando Poe Jr.

And how we wish our SOCO has crime labs like those shown on TV.