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Because the price of crude oil reaches ridiculously new heights, and despite the annoyingly repetitive claims of economic turnaround (obviously a product of hallucination caused by that narcotic called POWER), the Department of Energy is asking us poor blokes to save on energy. Taking heed of their illustrious call, I am therefore proposing the following mitigation measures.

1. Build more LRTs. All main thoroughfares should be covered. Let a thousand LRT lines bloom. This measure will eliminate the need to use gas-guzzling motor vehicles. If feasible, build inter-island LRT lines.
2. Use computers for only four office hours per day. Use a typewriter and/or calculator for other tasks. Read newspapers instead of blogs. Utilize the laggard postal system instead of email.
3. Turn off lights during daytime. If possible, don’t turn them on unless essential and necessary. The use of candles is highly encouraged.
4. Cellphone use should be limited to one unit per family, and should only be used for eight hours per day. Develop cranks as cellphone chargers.
5. Develop a nationwide septic tank network, wherein methane produced by all septic tanks in the country are collected and stored as fuel.
6. Public utility vehicles shall only be allowed to ply their routes during rush hours. Private vehicles shall only be allowed to travel during non-rush hours, except in case of emergency.
7. TV and radio should only broadcast from 4AM to 10PM and 6PM to 10PM. Networks are encouraged to produce shows that are not energy intensive. Use of non-essential equipment shall not be allowed, like excessive lighting.
8. Congress shall convene for one month only. Members of Congress shall only be paid for that session month. They shall hold their sessions at SM Mall of Asia’s Music Hall, all expense paid by SM, of course. If not possible, session shall be held at the Quirino Grandstand.
9. The President and Vice-President shall be limited to one provincial trip per week. It is encouraged to plan ahead so that these officials can cover as much ground as possible during said trips. The President shall be limited to one foreign travel during his term, and he can only travel for a maximum of one month. The Vice President is not allowed to travel abroad.
10. The courts shall hold their hearings at basketball courts. Each case shall be disposed with within 5 working days, including reconsideration appeals.
11. Laptops shall not be allowed outside the office or home. The four-hour-per-day rule applies for office use.
12. People are not allowed to fart, unless the fart can be collected for methane.
13. Use of non-electrical fans are highly encouraged. Aircons shall only be allowed from 10AM to 4PM, and the minimum temperature is 20 degrees Centigrade.
14. Families shall prepare a meal that is good for the entire day. Food recycling is highly encouraged.
15. The use of freezers shall not be allowed except for medical purposes. Ice cream and other related industries are encouraged to go into other, less energy-intensive business.
16. Holidays that use a lot of electricity are banned.

Feel free to add your suggestions. Let us all take responsibility to conserve energy and decrease our dependence on oil.

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